At sixteen years old, Carla made one of the hardest decisions a person can make: she placed her son for adoption. Open adoption was just in it’s infant stages in the early 90’s and Carla knew that was exactly what she wanted for her child, however after the contract was signed the Adoptive parents withdrew all their promises, leaving Carla questioning the biggest decision in her life. Did she choose the right parents for her child? With no support from the birth father, her parents, or Social Services, Carla did what every other Birthmother did – tried to move forward. The following years were spent going to college, getting married and starting a family, however there has not been a day that has gone by that she does not think of her first born son. It wasn’t until the death of her unborn baby, that the grief of losing not one, but now two children, caught up with Carla and she had realized while she was grieving for one son, she was actually starting to grieve for the son she placed for adoption many years earlier. This prompted Carla to seek out therapy, support groups in person and online. Realizing she was no longer alone in her grief. There are many other Birthmother’s out there who tried to bury their feelings of grief, only to have them resurface years later. It has now been 30 years since she placed her son, but those emotions are as raw today as they were in 1991. It’s a healing process that she continues to this day.
The Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan provides pre- and post-adoption support services, including consultation, education, resources and more. ASCS provides these supports and programs to adoptive families, adoptees, birth parents, birth families and professionals. When adoption becomes the plan for a child, ASCS believes the child’s best interests are met when families are well-equipped with a broad understanding of adoption and the issues that may arise along the journey. Knowing what resources are available to support the child throughout their life within an adoptive family is essential from the start.